I've started quite a few blog entries but haven't had the opportunity to really put my thought into them...
So I'll publish them when I am able.
For now, I'll give an update.
I don't think I ever mentioned what a wonderful time Jason and I had in Santa Rosa, CA. It was superbly beautiful there. In fact, Jason and I drove through neighborhoods of mansions trying to decided which one we would be buying for when we move out there. Unfortunately, the weather was cool, cloudy, and rainy the majority of the time. But I made the most of being baby-free; one day I even stayed in bed 'til noon. On Thursday, we drove through lush hills of vineyards, as far as the eye could see, visited a redwood forest - the most beautiful and serene forest I have ever set foot through - and went to Goat Rock Beach, drove down the Sonoma Coast to Bodega Bay, and back out to SR. The following day we went went to San Fransisco (we flew out of SF airport the Saturday) and rode the exciting trolleys around the city, visited Fisherman's Warf, Pier 39, Ghirardelli Square, and walked down Lombard Street. I even got to visit my cousin, Megan, who lives in SF and I haven't seen her for about 10 years.
Two years ago when we got married, part of our many stops that we made for Honeymoon was spent in Cambria, California - which reminded us of the Santa Rosa area in many ways. But two years ago, Jason and (I can safely say) didn't know each other.
Not like we do now.
So much has grown and developed in our relationship. We've been through thick and thin together and can truly say we are best friends. When we were first married, there was all the newness to married life and much to get acquainted with. I now was with someone 24/7 with whom I had spent a year with on the phone in a long distance relationship. And within those two years, we were far from a perfect couple.
This time around, there was none of that awkwardness.
We both felt as if the Lord was giving us a new beginning;
to start fresh and do things right this time.
And with the better understanding and experientially knowing each other, we have so much to build upon and look forward to. I thank the Lord for the work He is doing between Jason and I. He is the Almighty Healer and God of Love. My union with Jason depends solely upon Him.
While we were away, my mother and father took Acacia home with them to watch her. She was an angel. She melted all their hearts, lavished kisses and hugs, and practically forgot that her mama and dada even existed!
Speaking of my little munchkin......
Acacia is learning to walk!
She took her first steps a few days ago; much to Jason and my surprise. She stumbles along but each day she is progressively gaining more balance. As Jason and I sit feet apart and have her walk back and forth between us, I'm afraid we have spoiled her already by having our hands there to catch her if she ever tilts. Thus, she has learned to fall backwards fully expecting someone's brace (she falls straight back. Literally. Her legs, back, and head are aligned). This will not do;
because we will not always be there to support her and she will get badly hurt if she doesn't bend her knees first and roll into the fall. Before this habit takes hold, J and I have agreed that we will let her fall (within reason) that she may learn to break, and of course, how to balance.
Perhaps I over-spiritualize everything , but through this I have gained an understanding. Unlike my inability to be omnipresent to break my daughter's every fall, the Lord is and always will be there for me. Yet just as Acacia must learn walking stability by trial and error; so the Lord is willing to allow me to fall.
One can not truly know the consequences of imbalance
without the pain of failure.
We then learn how to brace ourselves when we stumble. And eventually --though perhaps never fully perfected during life on this earth -- we gain poise.
To have the assurance- that all the times I have fallen and accused God of ... well... (I'm ashamed to admit)... even pushing me over - that He was right there by me is very comforting. He allows me failure/falls so that I can learn to accept, confront, and gain victory from them.
And He allows me to start by taking baby steps.
Acacia is learning to walk with perfect timing.... because J's parents will be joining us this weekend for 10 days! They haven't seen Acacia since Christmas. Sheree' - Jason's younger sister - is here already and will be staying for the summer. And next week, their grandparents will be here as well - and they have never met Acacia. It will be a lovely mini-family reunion that we all are quite looking forward to.
-- But before then, I have to prepare my house and get everything ready for such a gathering.
And thus I leave you.
P.S. I'm just joking; we have no current plans to move to Santa Rosa. I scared you didn't I?
O.... and apparently the title of this post turned out to be a joke as well.