Tuesday, June 7, 2011

three years ago

Today, June 7th, 2011, marks the anniversary of three years of blessing.

On our wedding day, everything happened so quickly...

Hair fixed, face beautified, the dress squeezed slipped on and tied.
Walked down the aisle, said our vows, exchanged our first kiss.
Pictures, food, dancing, greeting, and thanking.
Said our farewells and drove away from the church to our hotel...  ... ...

Three years later I find myself in a place far from what was on my mind...

Chasing my terrible terrific two year old, moping up the spilled milk.
Lugging around a belly, attempting to find anything in the closet that fits.
Cleaning my house, getting ready for the sitters to arrive.
Throwing up the hair, whisking on [the beloved] mascara, just in time...

I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Though some days I find myself caught up in thoughts such as Motherhood doesn't suit me... or Ya know, marriage doesn't suit me either.... I am thankful to God that I find myself here.

Because above all things I am where He wants me to be. And despite my wishing upon times that never got to happen for just Jason and myself; we have one - and a second coming - more adored member with which to share and make precious moments. The joys are increased.

My heart is grateful.

My life is overwhelmed with love.

My husband and I are the best of friends; true confidantes, patient in love, and evermore becoming entwined as one.

All thanks be to God, our Creator, greatest Lover, and healing Saviour.

Jason, without you I cannot truly be me.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

don't tell...


I have a secret; something between just you and me.

I'm bummed the rapture didn't happen on May 21.

I know.
            I know.

Camping is off his rocker...

But if he were right, I'd (by the grace of God) be basking in the eternal glory of my holy Savior;
          and not here; tired, confused, discouraged, incomplete...


Thursday, March 24, 2011

18 weeks 1 day

Right now I am feeling my little fishy inside prod around.

I just drank a glass of iced tea.
    I think it went straight to baby and left no caffeine for me.

I'm exhausted.
 - and I still have to do the gigantic pile of dishes, two loads of laundry, prepare the guest bedroom & bathroom, get dressed, make dinner, and go to the college & career group ALL before the day ends. But all I want to do is sleep. Lord help me!

It seems that I always am. My blood sugar must be running really low. Or I'm forgetting how tiring pregnancy was last time.

We had an early ultrasound to see if we could see what the baby is - boy or girl?

     Baby was quite prude and wouldn't let us know; legs crossed tight.

          I can't help but hope dearly for a boy, since I already have a little girl. 

     I will be content with whatever the Lord gives me.

My hormones are out of control. I must have forgotten about that from last time too.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I just wrote three paragraphs in this post and decided against sharing.

I'm keeping the title because I think I have made the "smarter" decision by leaving the other information disclosed.

I have opinions, feelings, offenses... But I don't feel comfortable splatting them all over for record to see.

Hmmm... So that leaves us with a boring post then, eh?

     I'll give you what randomness is in my head.

I am 15 weeks and 1 day pregnant. As I am sitting here I am imagining-up feeling little squirmy movements in my belly.

     It's probably just gas.

In two weeks I have my next prenatal appointment; they'll be scheduling me for my 20 wk ultrasound to discover the gender of the baby.

     I'd love a little boy. But a little girl would be so convenient.

When we get our tax refund [tomorrow!??] we will have our cash to go buy a new car. Straight up, baby! No debt.
     I've been praying for this car for three years. I'm trusting the Lord is going to give us the best.

My calendar has events every week from now until mid April.
     Are other people's lives like this???

We renovated our bedroom. Painted it green, added white trimming on the windows and closet. Installed shelving. Bought two new lamp stands, two blinds, eight baskets, and a down comforter. And all within a $400 budget.
    A special thanks to our wonderful friend Mike R. (and Walmart, site-to-store delivery) without whom our project would have been an epic fail.

I'm going to go eat thin mints and head to bed.

     It's one of those nights.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

13 weeks 3 days

Praise the Good Lord for the end of morning sickness.

Starting last Sunday I have felt increasingly better over the week. It's so good to enjoy the taste of food again. When you're on top of your game, you take for granted the simplicity of hunger and feeding that hunger with all the splendid varieties of tasty foods. Now that I'm over that hurdle, I just need my energy to kick back into gear.

On Valentine's day Jason and I went to our second prenatal appointment. We had our first ultrasound and it was the first time we got to hear baby's heartbeat. [161 bpm strong.] The appointment was the First Trimester Screening - in which they test my blood and, by ultrasound, measure the fat behind the neck of the baby. The results can unveil any chromosomal abnormalities or cardiac disorders. Suffice to say that I'm SO thankful that everything is looking perfectly healthy for #2 thus far!

I have to comment on the ultrasound. I didn't get the 1st tri screen with Acacia so seeing such a tiny little baby was amazing for Jason and me. Only about two inches long, yet fully in tact with fingers & toes, our little baby was sucking on it's fingers, moving it's mouth open & closed, curling in it's feet to stretch it's back. I could literally feel my heart melt with adoration as I watched.

Baby is about the size of a peach now and steadily growing. So is my waistline.

I can no longer wear my regular jeans comfortably. For now I'm stuck wearing either lounge pants, dress pants, or leggings. I'm not big enough to fit into my maternity pants; and quite honestly, I'm not anxious to wear most of those ugly things anyway. Being twiggly skinny does have its disadvantages. Even at my ripe 8 months (with Acacia) my belly filled the waist, but my legs resembled those of a 12 year old wearing Junior pants. Not so cute... and kind of awkward.

On my last, physical note, I am reminded why they call it our "bust."

Because I am literally busting out of the seams here, people.

          Well, tonight it was the button.
                  At dinner. With [male] guests over.
                          I'm still trying to figure out how long my shirt was open...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

10 weeks, 1 day

Well, I thought that my morning sickness was easing off after starting a regimen of 50mg B6 and 4 ginger root extract vitamins per day. Unfortunately, some meals are just nearly impossible to swallow down. On the fortunate side, it is a good sign that the baby is still in there thriving! In only two weeks we get to have our first ultrasound and finally hear that sweet, rapid, lub-dub of the heart beating. I figure -- hope. plead. --  at that point, "Good riddance, morning sickness! You're no longer needed here!"

I'm on this kick to decorate my house. I'm creating all these plans for my bedroom, the babies' bedroom, blank walls around the house... The pitiful thing is, I can't even get the laundry taken care of. It's a great accomplishment to get the 3-day pile of dishes done. Anyone wanna be my free housemaid? Just for a few more weeks; til this sickness passes???

I don't understand how mothers of many children do it. They are supermoms. Admirable.

I... am not.

Once I'm over the hurdles of first trimester, I'm going to try to get on top of everything. Clean the bathrooms... sweep and mop the floor.... vacuum... dust... clean out all the spills in the fridge -- how did they even get there!? Until then, I'll accomplish whatever I can in a day - dishes, maybe - restful naps, chewing my food and keeping it down, entertaining and feeding my husband and Acacia.

Bring it; next-two-weeks-of-morning sickness!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

number two

[[[ I think I may have an excellent excuse for not posting since the first of December. ]]]

As Christmas was drawing near, I was exhausted with trying to get everything done. But nearing the Holiday, hunger mounted onto that exhaustion. By the 23rd of December, it was pretty obvious what the "problem" was. I took a test to confirm what we already knew.

If you would have asked me anytime before Christmas when I wanted to have another baby, I would have told you - with much emphasis - that "I'm not ready. Maybe in the fall we'll try, for sake of Acacia having a sibling close in age. But if it were only up to me, I don't even want to consider getting pregnant for another two years."

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, 
neither are My ways your ways," declares the LORD.     
Isaiah 55:8

That night I stayed up late, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. Sometime past midnight,  I laughed out loud when it occurred to me that there was only one opportunity for this little baby to be. And the Lord saw fit to make it. We testify of the Lord's sovereign timing.

The Legistics: I will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Baby is due August 24th. I am nauseous every waking moment of the day. I want to be asleep every moment I'm awake.

I am still in the risk period for something to happen to the baby, so please keep us in your prayers. Also, I have not announced anything on Facebook (yet), so please don't leave me a giant 'congrats' on my page ;) Here, your comments are welcomed, of course. I will probably be putting something in my FB status at the end of the week.

Thanks for being my friends and following my posts.

Well, I'm off to take my afternoon nap!