Thursday, July 22, 2010


No, actually I'm not referring to the international distress signal ..._ _ _...

    But it kinda fits in....

[I am amused right now because I wrote this blog on June 7 - my two year anniversary with Jason... and now I am finally going to finish it]

For my devotional time with the Lord, I read through the Bible, book by book. Two months ago, I read the Song of Solomon.

  As I was reading, I came across something that is always on my heart 
    and I'd like to attempt putting it down in writing.

I charge you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, 
do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

Three times this it iterated, in chapter 2 verse 7, chapter 3 verse 5, and chapter 8 verse 4. I think we're supposed to pay attention.

And while most of my readers are married women, I have a heart for topics such as this. Because it is not just about purity. It's about being sanctified. Set apart. Consecrated to the Lord. 

To go off topic a bit... there is something that I will share, so you get the whole picture...

Jason is leading and teaching the young adult group at our church. He is currently [until the end of 2010] going through a course on Discipleship; this month, Jason is discussing a life of holiness. While planning for this week's time together, there will be a skit, some onetimeblind clips, and he wanted two testimonies - one from a male and one from a female. He chose which guy would speak then consulted me in reference to the girl. I named off as many as I could... but he just looked at me and said, "I was hoping you would do it." 


This time, thats the distress signal!

I hate speaking in public. I get nervous even talking in a group of eight. So, obviously, I refused. 

But here I am writing this to you and here is my testimony that everyone at Engage will hear. 

I was raised in a non-Christian home.  Since kindergarten, I have been kissing boys… and I have had more relationships than I’d dare to admit to most of you.
After two years of faithful witnessing from a Christian girl-friend, I became a Christian my sophomore year of High School. But not even being a “Christian” kept me from sinful relationships.  Before the age of 18 I had handed over my purity.

After HS the Lord led me to Calvary Chapel Bible College in southern California.
            Actually… the truth is, I went to impress a guy.
But the Lord used it anyway and had me there for a purpose.

Due to a very sinful, manipulatory, unholy relationship that ended during the course of my first year of classes, I began to harbor extreme bitterness and loathing towards guys. I was disgusted with myself and even more repulsed with the opposite sex.

It wasn’t until a year later that the Lord was finally able to soften my hard heart. It was the winter before my last semester at Bible College that I allowed God to truly be ‘Lord’ over my life. I committed myself to standards of holiness that the Lord put on my heart. I was finished with throwing myself at guys to make them want me. The only guy who could have me was one with the same standards and one who would do all the pursuing. 

After consecrating myself to the Lord, a huge weigh was lifted.

A few weeks later the Lord brought Jason into my life.

Now most people would consider my standards as ridiculous and impossible:
-         guy had to respect me physically – never attempt to touch me, not even to hold hands
-         no kiss until the wedding day
-         I refused to be flirtation, pursue, or let on in any way of my attractions
-         I would not define the terms and boundaries of the relationship

So, if Jason wanted me he would have to get me.  He would have to lead the relationship by those holy standards of his own conviction – not just to please me.

As Jason and I began to talk, take walks together, and get to know each other, I didn’t flirt. I didn’t approach him, I didn’t call or even text him.

After two or three weeks of this, I determined to put an end to our time together: because the relationship was undefined and I wasn’t going to be the one to lead that.

That very day, the Lord put it on Jason’s heart to define the relationship.

He told me that the purpose of pursuing me was for the intentions of marriage.

Until this point we hadn’t even hugged – which was odd, since we both hug everyone; but I was so grateful, and felt so respected by him. We held hands once but afterward we talked about it and Jason decided that he wouldn’t hold my hand again until he put a ring on it for engagement. He also informed me that it was his desire to not kiss until marriage.

And so... our first kiss was June 7, 2008 at the altar before the Lord.

We NEVER held these standards out of legalism, but obeyed because we love the Lord and respected one another. There were times of struggle and imperfection, but we would immediately repent and return to the conduct the Lord called us to.

I will be truthful:  
My promiscuity not only caused those short term consequences (the bitterness and pain) but also some longer term hurdles that Jason and I must conquer now together.

I charge you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, 
do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.

There is a time for love. A time for intimacy. But until it pleases love must not be tampered or tempted. 

Saturday, July 17, 2010

that's the way it is

I love Celine Dion.

I doubt you knew that.

The other night I had a dream about listening to Celine Dion CDs so yesterday before bed I decided to look her up on 

When I came across "That's the Way It Is" I had to stop,
                                                                           lie on the floor, 
                                                                                   and cry my eyes out. 

Friday, July 16, 2010

diamonds in the rough

The cabinets have been finished for the past week. They are beautiful.

    But for now, they just have to look like diamonds in the rough.

I was right

I WAS getting sick. And very sick indeed. Who knows how long I have had mononucleosis... but at least I now know why I was so overly exhausted during renow week. Thankfully I am finally feeling much better though I am still very tired. My tonsils are almost back to normal (they basically became two giant, painful, pus balls --- disgusting. I know.)

I'm basically contagious for [up to] the next year and a half.


I agree.

Oh well. The Lord had some reason for it. Though I don't understand it.

Staying on topic however, I would just like to give a list of things I am pleased about and things I would do different next time.

What went well:

  • all the help I received from Sheree'
  • Jason surprising us with help
  • the painted brown knobs look really cute (as opposed to purchasing nice new metal ones)
  • I the smooth texture of the oil paint. Its nothing like acrylic
  • the oil paint went really far so we didn't have to buy any second buckets

But... next time [and there never will be]:

  • the cream paint will be just a touch darker
  • the brown paint will be a few shades lighter or... I'd add more glaze to the mix
  • use acrylic paint - and just make sure to use a finish coat
  • hire a professional
  • actually... .I'll just buy new cabinets. Thanks.

I'm debating whether I should post a picture of the kitchen in its current state or not. Though the cabinetry and white appliances all look great, the two main problems are the white walls and hideodeous white-and-green tile backsplash. Since I'm sick, however, those white walls shall remain until my energy is regained (not for a few weeks, at the least).

The good thing is that the mono didn't take over until after the cabinets were finished :)
          And for that, I am very grateful.

Friday, July 9, 2010

day 10

Well it is currently 8:30am and I am finished with all my work for the day.

As Sheree' and I were chugging along painting the bottom cabinets during Acacia's nap, Jason drove up the driveway and informed us that he came home early to watch the baby so that we could get everything painted.

And thank goodness he did show up! We were not only able to finish all the antiquing, but once we were finished our hands were coated with the glaze and we were out of paint thinner. (Oil paint is not like acrylic. You can't just wash it off with soap and water. It stays sticky [forever] until it dries and only comes off with paint thinner). If he had not turned up, Sheree' and I would have been wearing bags on our hands the rest of the day. But he was able to run to Lowe's with Acacia to pick some up. He even brought us home food. What a sweetie.

Before I forget I want to mention that this project could not have been possible without my wonderful husband and his dearly loved sister, Sheree'.

So.... the glazing.... was hard.

    Much harder than it looks in all the videos I watched.

The paint/glaze mixture starts drying so quickly, and becomes sticky. We had to put some serious elbow grease into the process along with moving as fast as possible.

A bit stressful.
    But fun.

Anyway, once we were finished, I untaped everything and cleaned up all the mess. This morning, Jason brought in the drill and reinstalled all the bottom cabinets so that the kitchen could be baby proof today. (I know... I originally said we would wait 48 hours, but the glaze only said 16 hours of drying time... and we have people coming over tonight.) I helped a little where I could - and that was all my work for the day!

Today, I am going to relax. I'm going to snuggle up in bed as soon as Acacia goes down for nap and catch myself some much-needed rest.

Pictures will be posted this weekend, after the top cabinets are installed.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

day 8 & 9

Well we started last week on Wednesday and this Wed, we finished painting the last coat of cream on the 5 cabinet doors. I hammered the cream paint bucket closed for [hopefully] the last time ever. I cleaned out the brushes with the infamous paint thinner while Sheree' washed and sanded all the knobs.  Then we pulled out the dark brown and painted the knobs.

We're  SO close to being finished!

So today, we are starting the antiquing. Jason stopped by Sherwin-Williams and picked up a few of those oil-based glaze cans that I mentioned earlier [and btw, they are exactly what we need]. What we do to make the antique glaze is mix one part clear glaze with one part dark paint. Once its well mixed, we paint it on the cabinet fronts and then wipe off with a cloth -- leaving a nice, subtle residue of dark behind in the cracks.

To be honest, I'm a little scared. I worry that as we go along painting & wiping the latter ones will turn out better than when we began. And the cabinets look so beautiful right now, I would hate to ruin them. Thankfully, Sheree' and I are pretty precise about our art... so I'm really hoping and praying that all goes well.

The plan is to start with the bottom cabinets and - for sure - get them all accomplished. Then tomorrow we will tackle the top cabinets... or whatever we don't finish today.  We will be waiting 48 hours from glaze until we reinstall the doors and drawers back into the frames. 

Thus, Lord willing, we will have a baby-proof kitchen by Saturday.

Acacia is exploring her boundaries with us a lot by constantly trying to invade the contents of all the door-less bottom cabinets. Now that she is walking, she is so quick to get into things. I would love to take a day off and rest, but - the fact of the matter is - I can't spare another day. I have to get those doors back up to keep Acacia out of mischief -- and so I can cut the number of times I say, "No" in half

The reason I'd like to take a break: I think I'm getting sick. 

The past three days my back and body have been aching, the sinus in the back of my head is sensitive to touch, the lymph nodes in my neck are swollen on both sides, and I'm so tired. But I'm not allowed to be sick. Not right now. 

So... if you think of me today, please send up a prayer. I would be most grateful. 

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

day 7

Within half an hour Sheree' and I were finished with the painting for today.

What a relief.

Of course... we both stuck our hair in paint.

[But thats beside the point.]

Looking forward to another easy day tomorrow.

We're having trouble hunting down oil-based glaze to mix with the dark brown paint to cause the antique effect. It seems odd to me considering that the directions online specify purchasing such a thing. We've searched Lowe's, Home Depot, Ace, and Kwal paint with no luck. Sherwin-Williams said they had an oil-based glaze that they were having a close-out clearance on, so Jason will stop by and buy a couple quarts in hopes of finding what we need. We shall see. If its not the right product... then we may just leave the cabinets cream.... or maybe I could come up with my own glaze...????-- paint thinner?? 

Who knows.

And... as always... I hate oil paint.

Monday, July 5, 2010

day 5 & 6



SO over the smell.

Today is my sixth day in a row painting. Thankfully we are over halfway there... or I'd be seriously wanting to give up; I'd skip the antique glaze. Almost all the cream painting is finished; all that is left is one coat on 5 doors tomorrow, and the second coat on Wednesday. After that, Thursday is my planned day for antiquing it all.

Then of course, choosing a color for the walls
and those, thank the Lord, will be acrylic paint
and less back breaking.

This weekend I have been so thankful for the help of, not only Sheree', but Jason too. It's amazing how much faster the work gets done with more than just two hands. 

I'm looking forward to the next two days of quick coats.

hmm... I think a good nap will do me some good.

p.s. Have I mentioned how much I HATE the oil paint??? and the paint thinner is even worse. *gag*

Saturday, July 3, 2010

day 3 & 4

So yesterday was the third day.

Got the top cabinets painted with its second (and last coat) of cream.

Sadly, the oil paint takes 24 hours for one coat to dry.... so say for the cabinet doors that will take at least two coats each side... that equals 4 days.  And the oil stinks SO bad that today, Saturday, is my third day with a persistent headache. This is going to be a longer, more tedious, process than I had anticipated. In fact, I calculated and this could turn out to be a two week ordeal. (Of course, if I didn't have a baby this project could be accomplished in half the time.)

But at least half the green in my kitchen is gone forever. Which is something that I am very grateful of.

Now I just gotta get this project finished. 


Today I plan on painting a coat on the top cab doors and (since Jason is home to watch Acacia so I can work) start tearing out the bottom cabinets; clean, sand, and prime them. Possibly even get a first coat of cream on them.

All that would be... ideal.

Wish me luck.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

day 2 & 'before' pics

Here is the kitchen

 See what I mean: what-where-they-thinking?-green cabinets = ugly.

 this was the only pic I took on closing day of the dining room but it turned out very dark
 this is a picture of the dining room from the real estate website when the house was on market
and last of all, this is a close up of the dining room light. hideous.

So there are the BEFORE shots! And already the place is looking totally different.

Today we started the morning by sanding everything we primed, just lightly, before adding the first coat. During Acacia's [short] nap we were only able to accomplish painting the cabinet frame. After bedtime, I'll conquer the doors.

Oil-based paint is a pain to work with. I'm not sure I'll ever choose to work with it again. It stinks, its messy and hard to clean off. The color, however, is fabulous. The name of the paint we are applying right now is Victorian Linen.

Its a creamy white. 

And I'm in love with it.

Painting the cabinet's underside is the most difficult of all. Sheree' and I have taken to leaning back and resting on the counter so we can see what we're doing. I must say, I look forward to being finished with the top cab's  and be on with the bottom half where we can sit as we paint.

Enough update for today. Hoping I can get both sides of the doors painted tonight, though very doubtful of the possibility.

yesterday: day 1

Yesterday Sheree' and I got a LOT accomplished.

We hit the stores, bought a new light for the dining room, all the paint, the glaze, brushes, etc., and anything else we'd need along the way.

Our plan of action is - starting with the top cabinets.

We got all the doors removed and hardware taken off everything. We then sanded them down, along with the disgusting green frames. And to top it off, we finished priming it all.

Oh - and Jason and I installed the new light for our dining room. Its beautiful.

What an accomplished day it was. And everything done while Acacia was sleeping. Today I'm hoping for a LONG naptime to get the first coat of cream paint on the cabinet frame and doors today.

Unfortunately, Acacia chose the worst week to decide she can walk anywhere she likes.

Fortunately, Acacia has finally realized she can walk anywhere.